because I know you all like to laugh with me, not at me

I am a clumsy, accident-prone person. See: last Halloween, when I tripped and landed on my face, or my recently dislocated kneecap, which I acquired while sitting on the couch.

I am now in PT to fix my knee so I can run again and things were going swimmingly until…

dun dun DUN

So last Saturday was “Grace cleans all the things” day. This included my bedroom where, lurking under some laundry, I found a hair dryer. This hair dryer has been on my floor for approximately six months, since whenever I cut my hair off, and I thought this was a good time to finally put it somewhere that wasn’t my floor. So I picked up the hair dryer, put it on the top shelf of my closet, and turned away to go about my business.


Representative image of evil hair dryer.

The hair dryer fell off the top shelf and landed on my left foot—but wait, it gets better. It landed prongs-first, and then the hair dryer body HIT the plug, driving the prongs farther into my foot like some sort of vindictive, hair-stylin’ pile driver. WHAT the FUCK. This does not happen to normal people. Does it?

Five days later, my foot still hurts. I’m limping and icing like it’s going out of style. According to the PT (the one fixing my knee), I have ended up with what appears to be a bone bruise. From a hair dryer.

It’s okay to laugh. Everyone else has.

2 thoughts on “because I know you all like to laugh with me, not at me

  1. We could be the same person.

    I once sliced my foot open while climbing up on the bathroom counter (to sit and put lotion on my legs). These days I just wake up bruised. It’s kind of sad, really. ;)

    I hope your foot feels better!

  2. haha yeahhhhh I am totally that clumsy person who ends up with random bruises. and like–I’ve played rugby and hockey but all of my most major injuries come from, like, HANGING AROUND. so annoying.

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