help me, wolf blitzer kenobi. you’re my only hope.

I realize I’m late to this party, but I’ve been busy and sleep-deprived the past few days. Just pretend like I published this post on Wednesday morning. Thank you.



Just wow.

This may have been the greatest election in the history of the United States of America, and for one reason and one reason only:



CNN decided this election wasn’t exciting enough with only That One to hold our interest, so they added holograms. Also a weird 3D Capitol with shiny bits that appeared on that table behind the blond chick; the technology resembled that used in every sci-fi movie to plan an attack, such as the final meeting of the Rebellion leaders in Return of the Jedi, when the diagram of the Death Star floats above the table. (But shinier.) Basically, someone at CNN watched the Star Wars trilogy back-to-back-to-back-to-back and then had to figure out a way to classify it as a legitimate business expense.

So we got holograms.

Also, at the bottom of the screen, we got random little factoids like, “If Obama wins, Joe Biden will be the first Vice-President from Delaware.”

Well, gee. Too bad that wasn’t talked about more during the campaign, that’s IMPORTANT.

Brought to you by CNN.

Really I’m still too much in shock to fully process what happened in our country Tuesday night. I am shocked and awed. So you get my ill attempts at humor instead. It’s a defense mechanism.

Just. Wow.


2 thoughts on “help me, wolf blitzer kenobi. you’re my only hope.

  1. I was at a campus election party, watching CNN. When the holograms popped up my entire table stopped and muttered a slow “what the fuck?” Necessity is the mother of invention, but I’ve never expected ratings wars to be a source of that necessity.

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