Okay. There’s this movie. I love it. I can’t find anyone else who loves it. It is making me sad. SO HERE I AM, crying out to the universe:
AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO LIKES VERSUS?
Versus is a ridiculous Japanese zombie movie that involves Samurai swords, lots and lots of guns, destinies and portents, yakuza, good vs. evil, resurrections of all varieties, and lots of leather jackets. I love it so.
I understand it’s not a great movie. The first half is ridiculous. The second half is about five hours too long. Honestly I usually turn it off before it gets boring. But that first half is so AWESOMELY FUN and I have tried so hard to find someone who appreciates it as much as I do and I just CAN’T and it’s making me a very, very sad kitten.
Okay to be fully honest there are two people I can think of who like Versus: my siblings. I don’t know what this says about us. Probably that we’re awesome. But I’ve been trying to find people outside of my gene pool who appreciate this movie, and so far I’ve come up zero.
At first when I’d watch it with other people I’d say, “omg this movie is so great!” without really specifying that I meant bad-great. So that didn’t work. But even when I warn people what a mess it is, and that I mean great in the not-great sense, and that it doesn’t make any sense whatsoever, even when I find people who are willing to risk that, I still can’t find anyone who likes it.
So I’ve decided I’m going to stop trying to get people to watch it. It just annoys them and makes me all sadface. But I know that SOMEWHERE in this universe someone else must like this movie. Someone. Somewhere.
So. If you are the person I’m looking for, shout out. We’ll throw a party of two, break out the beer, and enjoy one of the most incredible zombie movies Japan has ever produced.