goals and failure

This post isn’t going to be nearly as depressing as its title suggests.

I had plans. Goals. Ideas. I was going to put in a final push and finish this draft of The Novel of Doom by the end of May. Which the astute among you will note was last Monday. I did not finish. So then I was like, “okay, I’ll finish before I go to New York on Sunday.” Which the astute among you will notice is on Sunday. I will not finish. (That’s not said in an Eeyore-tone, it’s just a fact. I can’t write that much that fast.)

So I need a new goal. A feasible one.

I’m really bad at meeting goals. (If you’ve been reading for more than like two months you’ve probably realized this.) Maybe it’s because I’m bad at setting them? I dunno. But I’m going to try again. Because I need to finish the NoD.

I’m thinking I should give myself two more weekends’ worth of time, not counting this weekend because it doesn’t count. I mean, I’m traveling, it won’t really work. Writing on the bus never works for me. And yes I will write during the week but having full days to devote to it will be better.

SO

New goal?

Midnight June 20. Finished novel. Wha-bam.

Oh hey! June 21 is the first day of summer.

THIS IS A SIGN, PEOPLE. A SIGN.

and awayyyy we go!

I’ve decided to spend the weekend cobbling.

“What on earth are you talking about, Grace?” I hear you say. (no no, it’s okay to admit it—I get that a lot.)

I have like 7000 drafts of my current WIP (work-in-progress, for those of you new to the game). Drafts I’ve started and scrapped and sent to the corner to think about what they’ve done. I’m always like, “Well, I’ll save it so I can glean bits for the Real Draft that I am Actually Working On.” Some of the drafts are 500 words, some are 40,000. (OK, only one is 40,000.) But really, I do very little gleaning. I’m like, “When I get to that part, I have most of it written.” But then things happen and I get all depressed and grouchy and full of Woe, and I never get to “that part.”

SO. I have decided, with my newfound vigor for writing and determination to finish, that I am going to spend the weekend cobbling things together into one master first draft.

Some things have changed. Tenses, plot points. But I am going to take every word from the 7000 drafts (that number might be high, but only by a few 0s) that could possibly go in the current plot line and put it in my “open” document, where it would go, if it were going to go there. (what? I lost me.) I am going to make one master first draft. I am going to kill my internal editor with a fiery fireball of killing, and I am just going to put something together that I can point to and go HERE IS WHERE IT STARTS and HERE IS WHERE IT ENDS and here is all the stuffs in the middle.

A first draft.

Like the sort of thing a writer does.

I know. Hold on to your hats.

writing again

OKAY.

That week I was going to take off after NaNo slowly grew, and now it is 3 weeks later and I’m finally opening up my WIP. Not the NaNo WIP—that has died a deserved death (by drowning).

I’m back to the WIP that I was cleverly calling Chrysanthemum, which I can hardly spell. I’ll just take it back to its actual name—or rather, its actual acronym, BY.

I am going to finish this fucking novel if it kills me.

Okay. We’re at 6k. Here we go.

POST EDITED for ROGUE APOSTROPHE AAAHHHHHHH *kills self*

writing update 07/06/09

Chrysanthemum

current wordcount: 45,675
last week: 45,675
satisfied?: big fat zero for the week. damn you, holiday and airplane and trip to DC. look at me make excuses that wouldn’t deter a Real Writer. look at me fail at life.
comments: comments? grace nothing happened this week. what is there to comment on?

writing update 6/28/09

Chrysanthemum

current wordcount: 45,675
last week: 43,263
satisfied?: +2412 Yes! Still could do better, but considering that I wrote almost nothing last week/month, this is a major improvement.
comments: I’m rearranging some things and I think everything’s working a LOT better. I’ve switched the location of two major plot points. Crazy times!

This upcoming week is probably not going to be very productive. I’m going to be in D.C. Monday night and all of Tuesday, and then going up to Maine for the 4th. So maybe I will get a lot of work done in airports/on buses, but yeah that rarely happens. We’ll see.